A few weeks ago I was washing dishes in creek water and sleeping on the ground in a tent (well, on a very cushy air mattress on the ground) and doing hard physical labor for hours a day. Today I’m in Provence, France sitting at a cafe on the square of Valbonne drinking espresso following officiating at the wedding of two dear friends. In between I spent a day in New York meeting with my agent and my new publishing team to prep for the launch of my new book in January (The Warrior Heart Practice, cover reveal coming soon!!!)
Last night at midnight I was in the bathtub for a couple of hours, integrating all the changes and movement in my life. I’m now the steward of 180 acres of land outside Santa Fe, New Mexico. I have a new book coming out with a major New York publisher. And we are in the middle of a major revamp of all our social media ands online branding and programs. Plus I’m navigating constantly being on the road, frequently packing and repacking for different climates and countries. It is a lot to wrap one’s head around.
When big changes happen in our life, whether they are anticipated and expected or sudden and bewildering, it takes our mind, emotions, and physical body a while to catch up with reality. How long the integration takes depends on our practice of being flexible and our willingness to listen and act on what we need.
Flexibility can be learned, as it is more a practice rather than something we are born with. How do you practice flexibility? Simple ways: take a different route to work. Wear colors you don’t usually wear. Go to a different cafe or restaurant or grocery store. Change things up regularly. Adjust as you go along.
Listening to your own needs also takes practice. First, stop thinking about what you wish was happening and how you wish you were reacting, and be with what is true in this moment. (And yes, that includes being with the truth of how you are reacting, even if you would rather be reacting a different way.) Once you show up with yourself you can then get quiet and ask yourself, “Sweetheart, what do you need?” This doesn’t mean you can always give yourself exactly what you need. But you can then be creative to get to the core of what you are craving. So if your body says “I would like a two week vacation in a tropical island,” you can say “How about a half a day lying in a hammock in the backyard while reading a totally engrossing book and drinking sparkling water and juice?” And you find yourself saying something like “I need that person to be different so I feel better,” that is actually your head talking. Come back to what you can change, which is never someone else.
Also, remember that you don’t have to create drama, even when things are challenging. Drama comes when we think something should not be happening, or we make up worst case scenarios and worry about what is not currently happening, but might happen in the future. Or you can also create all sorts of drama by thinking about all the other mistakes or terrible experience you had in the past. You can work yourself up to a frenzy fighting what is or living past or future negative scenarios in full blown color. Stop, dear one. Unless you are running through a worst case scenario to see that you will be okay no matter what happens, don’t let your mind drag you through past or future hells.
Practice, practice, practice. You will make mistakes, you will get overwhelmed, you will find yourself wishing things were different. Bring yourself back into the present with compassion and love, and look where you want to go and name how you want to be.
My integration time last night in the bathtub was short but powerful. I let myself cry, feel gratitude, and make a plan for how I can best support myself in the coming days. I acknowledged that my schedule is too tight right now, but that there is also plenty of time to integrate if I give it to myself. I just need to be flexible, and not try to control the changes happening all around me. Can you relate? : )
Here are a few of the current changes I want to share with you…
First, THE LAND!!! A small group of Warrior Goddesses and my dear friend Franklin spent ten days tearing down old buildings, taking heaps of trash to the dump, and generally getting dirty and sweaty and exuberant as we watched things transform before our eyes. The land, which I am now calling Warrior Heart Ranch, is blessedly free of six plus decades of trash, including old rusted car parts, huge piles of weathered masonite board, garbage bags filled with nails and glass, and what felt like pounds of ancient pack rats’ nests. Things we discovered in the dirt or the bushes: an old cracked black bowling ball, enormous foot-long spiral springs from a tractor, a scythe, hoe, and rake with the handles long eaten by the earth, a propane fridge from the 1950’s, a gorgeous wood-burning cook stove, and a dozen weathered to iridescent mason jars from long, long ago. Oh, plus one can of Chef-Boy-ar-dee ravioli, one jar of Welch grape jelly, and some truly gross random home-made stew in a jar.
Here is the link to the photo gallery from our time on the land… Check out the videos of us helping my neighbor by putting the roof to his shed back on after it was blown off during a storm. HUGE abundant gratitude to everyone who came to help including Franklin, Christy, T, Beaux, Dierdre, Sarina, Karen, Leah, Marilyn, Rachel, Jenn, Ericka, Mary, Lynn, and Lisa. There will be more work parties in the future; we’ll let you know when! And mark your calendars, Warrior Goddess women: June 19 – 21, 2019 we’ll be doing the first Warrior Goddess gathering at Warrior Heart Ranch. More details to follow. Yeeee!
Second, FACEBOOK HEADERS! Huge gratitude to Pixie teammate Tara Sol for working with me over a month or so to redesign and rename the headers for our two FaceBook pages and two FaceBook groups. Here they are:
Aren’t they gorgeous? My author page HeatherAsh Amara will soon be the home of more podcasts, blog posts from the archives, and more.) The closed group Warrior Goddess Tribe is now Warrior Goddess Women (a group of women dedicated to support and empower each other, with weekly Facebook live videos with me!); the Warrior Goddess Women page is now Warrior Goddess Inspiration (daily quotes and lots of, you guessed it, inspiration); Inner Fire Tribe is now Warriors of the Heart (this is where you will find Daily Sparks posts and insider info on the upcoming Warrior Heart Practice book); And if you aren’t following me on Instagram that is where you will find my current adventures and travels. @heatherashamara
We are also in the midst of creating the curriculum for Warrior Goddess University, an online journey into truly owning courage, authenticity, embodiment, and wisdom. Once this is complete then I’ll begin sharing more online courses for specific topics, including a course for everyone on the Warrior Heart practice.
I’m grateful for you.
How are you changing? What do you want more of in your life? How are you integrating your transformations? I’d love to hear.